5 Reasons a Birth Debrief is a Good Idea
I absolutely think Birth Debriefs are so necessary! Here’s why…
When I look back on the day my babies were born, I remember it in flashes—some moments are crystal clear, others are hazy, and a few feel almost like they belong to someone else’s story. Birth is intense. It can be beautiful, messy, overwhelming, joyful, or even traumatic… and sometimes all of those at once.
That’s why I think it’s so important to take time to debrief your birth experience—to sit with your story, talk it through, and invite God into the journey of healing and remembering. Here are five reasons why this can really help:
1. To process the big emotions
Birth stirs up everything—joy, fear, relief, exhaustion, sometimes even disappointment. Giving yourself space (in a SAFE space) to talk it through helps you make sense of it all.
2. To understand what really happened
Labour often feels like a blur. A conversation with a midwife, doula, or even a close friend or your birth partner can help fill in the gaps and bring clarity to the parts you can’t quite piece together. I recently held a birth debrief with the mama, her partner AND their doula: it was wonderful to hear them all piecing things together to build up the jigsaw puzzle.
3. To celebrate your strength
No matter how your birth unfolded, you showed incredible courage and resilience. Looking back allows you to honour just how strong you were in bringing your baby into the world.
4. To begin healing if it was hard
If your birth was painful, frightening, or left you with unanswered questions, sharing your story is often the first step towards emotional and spiritual healing.
5. To feel more prepared for the future
Reflecting on your experience can give you peace of mind—whether for future pregnancies, or simply for your journey ahead as a mother. It can also re-frame how you view yourself as you move forward: as a mother, and of how you FEEL when you think about the birth and those early newborn stages.
Where prayer fits in:
For me, bringing prayer into this space has been powerful. Talking to God about my birth—the beautiful bits and the hard bits—helped me release the emotions I was holding onto. Sometimes I journaled my prayers, sometimes I prayed with a trusted friend, and sometimes I just sat quietly, letting God’s peace wash over me. I have also loved holding spaces to help others connect with God as they have gone back to it in their minds. ‘God, where were you in that moment?’ Listening to God’s voice and picturing God’s presence in the birth room in a new way, has been healing and restorative for many.
The Bible says, “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). I’ve found that to be true. He cares about your story, and He cares about you.
Give yourself compassionate permission
If you haven’t already, I’d really encourage you to give yourself permission to debrief your birth. Your story matters. And processing it—with someone safe, and with God—can be such a healing, freeing step. It’s never too late to think back to your birth experience and bring closure, healing, celebration and honouring.
